As Valentine’s Day approaches, I’m reminded that there are many people who don’t have a Valentine but want one. I remember those days. They sucked.
So what can I do to help those of you who dread Valentine’s Day without sacrificing my own joy on the day? I know it’s especially difficult for many single people who aren’t dating anyone and have no prospects on the horizon but are actively or passively looking.
One of my perpetually single girlfriends bemoans the fact that I haven’t found her a husband yet. Um, it’s not my responsibility to find you a mate even though I admit that I’m keeping my eyes open for your Mr. Right. For this friend, I design and send an anti-Valentine’s Day card. She once told me that she’d buy front row tickets if they ever burn Cupid at the stake. Yikes!
Another friend who is single again doesn’t care. He’s fine with his status, sends his female friends cards, and when I used to work with him, would treat his female co-workers to lunch on V-Day. I wish him a Happy Valentine’s Day on Facebook.
But what about those who don’t tell me how they feel about Valentine’s Day? It’s a tough call. If they wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day, I wish them one back. If they’re silent, I’ll PM them without mentioning the day. If they post bemoaning their singleness, I’ll respond with a sympathetic post. And yet, I see their Facebook feeds flooded with cute posts on how so and so met their other half on a blind date on Valentine’s Day or how you find the one you’ll love forever when you stop looking.
While I love love and love writing about love and romance, I remember how it felt when I was the lone single gal in the office and didn’t get flowers, a call, a card, or anything else on Valentine’s Day. I felt singled out. One year, a single guy who I knew who didn’t have a Valentine, sent me flowers. I dashed out and got him a nice box of chocolate and had the front desk at his office call him to come pick up his delivery. We’d tried dating and decided that we were better off as friends. His flowers had the ladies at my office wedding planning and the guys at his office trying to winnow information on me out of him. It was one of my better single Valentine’s Days.
Admittedly, Henry and I don’t go overboard on the day. He doesn’t buy me inflated priced roses, at my request, and I don’t buy him overpriced chocolate. We rarely go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day because many restaurants in our area boost their prices for Valentine’s Day dinners touting them as packages with flowers and candy. Mr. Page and I will pass, thank you very much.
Henry gets nice chocolates and a card that I picked up prior to the holiday and I’ll get a nice small bouquet of flowers and a card from him. We just don’t choose to overspend on our gifts. We’d rather take the money and do something on another day. We will have a nice dinner. Some years, we have a fondue dinner; other years, I’ll make a nice roast or one of Mr. Page’s favorite dishes for dinner and he’ll take me out to dinner at a later date. He saves the huge bouquet of roses for our anniversary on milestone years.
For my single friends and anyone else who isn’t going to have a Happy Valentine’s Day, turn off Facebook, don’t check out Instagram, skip Twitter. Don’t watch the scheduled cable or TV fare.
Instead, rent or watch anything but a romance or romantic comedy on the 14th of February. Read a nice non-romantic murder mystery or sci-fi thriller. Go and do something for yourself. Order in your favorite pizza. Gather your other unattached single friends and go out to a sports bar or other non-romantic dining location. It’s OK to buy yourself a nice bottle of your favorite scent, wine, or beer and save it until V-Day.