It’s hard to be cheerful when your eyes are stinging from held back tears. To smile when your heart is hurting. To laugh and sing when you just want to curl up into a ball and sleep.
This year, my heart is hurting over a loved one with steadily progressing Alzheimer’s disease, over the loss of a very dear cousin, for friends who have recently lost children or parents or their beloved.
My cousin, Edward, was the spitting image of our great great-grandfather, even more so after he grew and groomed his mustached in the image of great great-grandfather Joseph. I could see my father in my cousin’s face. They smiled in the same way.
I was still reeling from the news that he had cancer. Then, he was gone. I know that his family wasn’t ready; I wasn’t ready. He was though. He lived a full life: serving our country in the military, marrying the love of his life, restoring and racing vintage cars as a hobby. The diagnosis blindsided everyone.
My loved one with Alzheimer’s continues his journey, his loving companion of many years by his side. It hurts to watch them go through this. Henry and I give them our support and our love, but it is their journey.
For my friends who are hurting from loss, I am here for you. You have my love and support, as well as an ear to listen and a shoulder for you to cry on. First holidays are the toughest. The loss is new; your skin is thin; your heart so very fragile.
To those who are celebrating with great joy, celebrate for me too. And for all of us who are hurting this holiday season. Be patient with us when we’re not ready to join in the festivities. Have compassion for us, but don’t pity us. Be kind when you see someone out who isn’t smiling and laughing.
A random act of kindness goes a long way at this time of year, brightening the day. Lending an ear or a shoulder might be just the thing to help someone who isn’t quite up to celebrating this year.
The message of the season is hope. Hope that we will be celebrating with you next year, or with more happiness than we are able to find this year. Hope that things will be a bit better, a bit brighter, and that we will be a bit more joyful.